* Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
* Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
* Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
* Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
* Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
* Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
* Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
* Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
* Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
* Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
* Father: A banker provided by nature.
* Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
* Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
* Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
* Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
* Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
* Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
* Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
* Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
* Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
* Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
* Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
* Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
* Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
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